I’m Not Proud of You

Am I the only person in the world who refuses to say “I’m proud of you?” That phrase has always struck me as turning the focus around to the speaker, as if the proud-making occasion is all about the speaker. Whenever anyone has said they’re proud of me (or anyone else), my immediate internal reaction is, “Well, good for you.” It’s only a matter of time before I actually say it aloud.

Possibly an aftereffect of parental criticism, I feel diminished to hear “I’m proud of you.” I simply don’t believe the speaker intends to honor either the accomplishment or the person.  The proud-maker is the one who should be proud and probably is, wholeheartedly, until “I’m proud of you” takes a little wind out of their sail. Why steal their pride in their accomplishment?

That’s why I say, “You must be so proud of yourself.” If I express how I feel about the occasion, I’ll say, “I’m thrilled/happy/excited for you.” My feelings are for, or because of, them not me. It’s all about them.


We Will Never Forget


Remains Repository at the World Trade Center Site *

In a space between the two Twin Tower footprints at bedrock, visitors see a wall behind which the Office of Chief Medical Examiner of the City of New York operates and maintains a repository for the unidentified remains and a small work space.

A repository for the remains of 9/11 victims under the jurisdiction of the Office of Chief Medical Examiner of the City of New York (OCME) is located at bedrock at the World Trade Center site. The repository is an official New York City facility operated by the OCME, and is designed to meet the OCME’s professional specifications for access, security and environmental controls. The repository provides a dignified and reverential setting for the remains to repose – temporarily or in perpetuity – as identifications continue to be made. The OCME is committed to the ongoing work to identify the remains of 9/11 victims, but no DNA testing will be performed on site at the repository.

The repository is separate from the public space of the 9/11 Memorial Museum, and is only accessible by OCME staff. A private space exclusively for 9/11 family members, known as the Reflection Room, is located next to the repository. No portion of these spaces is accessible to the general public. There is no cost for 9/11 family members to visit the repository or the 9/11 Memorial Museum.

Additional information about the repository from the OCME can be found here.


*Content posted on the official website  https://www.911memorial.org/remains-repository-world-trade-center-site


feature photo credit: “9-11-11 view from NJ” by Kim Carpenter on wikimedia commons 

Liebster Award Nomination

aMany thanks to Harley Kallisti, who has honored me by nomination for the 2018 Liebster Award.  Harley’s blog Passion and Chaos is a wonderful mix of her drawings, snippets of fiction that will become a novel she has been working on since grade school, and posts about her real life. She has a gift for story-telling; check out her blog!

The Leibster Award itself is more than an honorific given by one blogger to another. It has an actual prize awarded by The Global Aussie on December 31! You can learn more about it on his site, which is truly global, by the way, as it’s primarily devoted to travel.

Honored as I am to have received this nomination, I’m afraid I’m going to have to decline. I’ve spent hours today trying to answer 11 questions and come up with 10 random facts about myself that I’d be willing to share. These rules and requirements are just too cumbersome and invasive for me. I’m not a “peel the onion layers” type of person. Not to mention having to nominate between 5 and 11 other bloggers. So, thank you for the honor, but no.